Hey, beauticians have to start somewhere. First it's a clip here
and a clip there. Then it's a comb here and a comb-over there. Then
a little hairspray, a few hightlighted, some washing and scalp massaging.
And then comes the teasing. Yes, the teasing. "You're ugly
and your mother dresses you funny!" There's nothing like well-teased
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After you've teased your hair you can downright berate it. "You're
no good and you'll never be any good. I should never have had you
in the first place!" And, when this is all vented, you may
proceed with shaving your scalp and selling the follicles to companies
that make wigs for midgets with psoriasis.